The Universal Rules of Dating

Written by Benjamin West on January 25th, 2010

One of the most neglected parts of dating, as this writer has seen, is that one must listen 90% of the time and speak 10% of the time. Benjamin Disraeli, a British prime minister, who was renowned for his seductiveness said, Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours. A common dating error is being overly preoccupied with ourselves and our ego and seeking approval instead of listening and giving our approval to others.

We should ask ourselves the question why we go for dating or that why am I dating, after fully establishing the basis of the same. In my opinion, it is because we feel we need a person to share our lives with and to love.

Getting to know someone well enough and keeping this in mind let’s get to the next essential part of dating. It’s difficult to know someone completely without inquiring of them. When on a date, you must be an investigator; you can’t love someone if you don’t know them and you may not want to be with the respective person once you get to know them.

Just be yourself is one line we always take for granted. We have heard it all. Being yourself may be misinterpreted. You should be congruent with your principles and internal values is what it actually meant. To be more specific, say and do whatever you thinks is right.

This is what reinforces being yourself: Honesty. Now, one may think he is honest, but he isn’t even honest with himself. You are honest once you stop being proud and start saying what you actually think. Go ahead and give it a try. If someone asks something you don’t want to answer, you are not obligated, just say you feel uncomfortable answering the respective question, you should only say what you want. This is what being honest really means. Do it completely and consistently and you will start being yourself you will stop being anxious about meeting a person. Honest does not mean being rude and you must keep in mind of course.

Everyone may not be brave enough, because it’s easier said than done. You are the only one who can keep yourself out of fear prison. Thomas Edison developed at least 10,000 incorrect ways to construct a light bulb. Then learned from them after he tried and tried and made mistakes. Put your fears aside and try talking honestly with your date. After you are honest with your date, you will see that they open up their hearts too.

Here’s another topic to discuss: harmony. Harmony is very important on a date. First, physical harmony. When people dress to impress, they dress harmoniously. Notice how important this is. Your mood usually dictates your body language and people seem to know when other people are angry or afraid because the second one is mental; you must be in a good state when dating. An individual’s attitude can be pretty infectious too. Like this- if someone is grieving because their pet has just died then a friend arrives with the news that they had won the lottery, the grief will turn to jubilation, which means the strongest emotion wins out.

Another thing that needs to be mentioned is: believe in yourself. You must not date with the person who didn’t like you. If you don’t like how the other person then leave, they may change their attitude. All said and done, you also have to be fair with yourself.

And last, but not least Relax!

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