Spring in a marriage not divorce

Written by admin on January 28th, 2010

Spring has sprung, but in many areas of our country, the temperature is still cold. That’s the way it is in some marriages. One partner may desire a warm, refreshing and growing relationship while the other partner seems cold and indifferent. As you complete spring-cleaning in your yard or closet, you may have a desire to toss your marriage into the garbage box marked D-I-V-O-R-C-E. However, this may be time to put spring feelings back into your marriage so that you will not throw it out with divorce. One method is to pursue the characteristics of a successful marriage by using letters that begin with the word: divorce- D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

Start with the D words. Discard the storm clouds in your marriage by determining what are the specific problems. If it is financial turmoil, decide what is creating the tempest. Create or revise your budget. Make decisions about what can be changed in relevance to the incomes. Remember that sometimes less is more. Perhaps you can trade down your car or dwelling to make expenses more affordable. Pay off your credit card bills as they come due. Record all expenditures, even credit card charges, and subtract them from the total balance as if they have been paid. This will assure you of having enough money to pay the accounts at the end of the month. Charge no more than you can pay-off at the due date. Discussion is often the number one problem concerning financial responsibilities. Deliberately put spring back into your marriage with communication and sharing of finances. Designed money management blows away a hurricane of monetary tribulations.

Put the I plus U back in your marriage. Energize your marriage with renewed interest in one another. Turn more attention to your spouse’s likes instead of your dislikes. Spruce up your marriage by doing intriguing things together. Maybe you can attend a sports event with your partner although it’s not your interest. By spending time with your marriage partner, you will be saying, “I care about what you like.” Maybe attending a social event is not your cup of tea, however, by escorting your spouse you are saying, “I respect and admire you.” Other ideas can be just as important to rejuvenating the marriage: Stick a love note on your spouses’s brief case; give an unexpected token of love; leave a romantic drawing or poem on the pillow; stick a photo in the travel case; plan a romantic-get-away for just the two of you. Such things can spark new energy in the marriage and you’ll see lighting success.

Brighten your marriage with the V’s of life. Recalling your marriage vows. If you wrote you own nuptials, discuss why you chose the words. Discuss your views and visions for marriage. Share what you thought the words meant when you were first married; talk about what they mean now. Plan a private celebration of your togetherness, although it is not your anniversary. Create a romantic atmosphere with soft lights, scented candles and your favorite pieces of music. Replay the video, DVD or look at the photo album of your wedding. Remember the happy times and even the sad times you’ve witnessed during life together. Share about how each has supported the other. Allow your marital relationship to bloom with the knowledge that you still believe in the vows that you said.

Spring forth with O-o-o’s. Seek a new outlook on your marriage. Fall in love again. Recall the sacrifices and choices that each have made along the way. Although you would like to have a 50-50 relationship, communicate your feelings about the circumstances today. Regard the opinion of your mate with value and worth. Reflect on duties and responsibilities of each other. Sickness, travel, military duties, and in-laws can affect the sharing process. Survey what can be changed and work toward those changes; seek to accept those things that cannot be adjusted. A new observation of your marriage will put zing and o-o-o’s back into the marital bliss.

Cultivate the R of romance. Dig up new ways to say, “I love you.” Reflect on the memories that brought pleasure in the past so that when you say those cherished words, you mean it. Seed the pathway of affection with pecks on the cheek, fond embraces, jovial hand holding and quality time together. Hoe and spade your loving relationship so your marriage will regenerate the seeds of joy and satisfaction. Demonstrate that you care for your marriage so that it will blossom like the spring flowers in nature. Sprinkle laughter and contentment into your every day experiences with each other. Reap the benefits of your lasting marital relationship. Fill your fruit bowl with results of success. Relish your marriage without infestation of doom and failure that will lead to divorce.

C what is in store with a spring-like look to marriage. Pledge a renewed commitment to your marriage. Focus on other marriages that have longevity. Peruse how they’ve stayed together for so long. Converse with them about what they think are characteristics of a successful marriage. Gleam from them the treasures of marital happiness. Although they may have not found their marriages filled with beds of roses, chat about how they overcame trying times. Talk with widows and widowers about how they stayed married until the death of their spouses. Spring up with recommitment and desire to make your marriage last.

Even as you discuss storm clouds in marriage, renew interest in one another, view your vows, observe your outlook, relish your endearing relationship, and consider your endless commitment, your marriage will spring toward an everlasting bond. As you watch the seeds of eternal love and faithfulness blossom, you’ll find that it has been worthwhile to til and cultivate your marriage. Remember that it takes a lifetime to make a marriage last. As spring feelings return, cold winter desires of divorce will vanish. You will no longer want to dump your marriage in the DIVORCE bin.

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